Autism | Calderism

One evening, I was babysitting Cald, which isn’t the easiest job in the world. His constant need for food and him constantly falling on top of you so you’ll take him for a walk(big foreshadow) can get irritating. Since he loves to be outside, I let him go play on the lanai (it’s screened in) while I took a bathroom break. I thought he’d be fine, but I was soon to discover that was a mistake. The first sign that Calder had made a break for freedom was that he was no longer in the lanai and his favorite chew toy, a sock, was left right next to the doggy door. Barefoot, I immediately rushed outside without any other thought besides that I had to find him before dark. The sun was already setting.

On the few occasions when Cald decides to escape, he usally heads to the trail near our house. He really loves to go talk to the trees (he read a book once about how trees communicate with eachother through their root system). The trail is heavily wooded, swampy, and we’ve run into a copperhead snake and once heard wild boar, so it’s not a safe place at night. As I raced across the path, my bare feet pounding on gravel, twigs, and dry grass, I called my mom to tell her Cald had disappeared. Surprisingly, and to my relief, she didn’t yell at me. She just told me to find him.

But I couldn’t. After around a mile, with the sky turning dark, I decided maybe he didn’t go on the trail. But where would he have gone? Could something truly terrible have happened — is he lost some place he’s not familiar with? Did a neighbor find him and call the police? Did he get hit by a car? By this point, my feet were aching and my conscience was feeling pretty guilty. I was sorry for getting irritated with Cald, who is my favorite brother and possibly my favorite human. I should have focused on my job of taking care of him rather than letting him play unattended in the lanai. I forgot how smart and determined Calder is when he wants something — like if he wants to go on a walk, he will find a way, and this time the doggy door was his path to freedom.

By the time I got back home, my feet were cut up and I was really, really worried that Calder might be in danger. To my relief, when I opened the door, he was sitting with my mom who was lecturing him. He’d come home the way he left — my mom found him climbing through the doggy door. I gave him a big hug, but Cald blamed me for his Houdini act because I had refused to take him on a walk when he clearly wanted to go. I kind of like that he ratted me out, it makes me remember that Cald is not only smart, but that he has opinions and he will make sure I get in trouble if I’ve made him mad. It makes me respect him for standing up for what he needs.

But the thing I respect Cald the most for is how inventive and determined he is. If he wants something, he will find a way to get it. There’s not a lock in the world that can stop him. Which means, I need to listen better or else I’ll be running barefoot through the woods again.