Autism | Calderism

For Thanksgiving break, we went to Ireland to visit Jack while he was studying abroad. Quick summary, this trip did not go as planned. Travelling with an autistic child is never easy, especially if Cald is excited to see his least favorite brother.  On the flight to Dublin, Cald behaved well and slept. Once we landed, we took a cab, but the conversation of the cab was not the usual discussion of where to go and what to see. Our driver shared that he and his wife are part of the Make a Wish foundation. He asked if Calder was autistic and when we said yes, he told us how his wife was an experienced care provider. She had run a preschool and worked with the elderly for decades, but when she was assigned to care for a teen who was severely impacted by autism, she felt helpless and realized she wasn’t qualified. Having to anticipate all of an autistic person’s stims and sensory needs was overwhelming for her. She had to quit after just a couple of weeks.

I sat there quietly disagreeing.  Taking care of Cald is easy.  The key to having an adventure with Calder is to be prepared but also spontaneous. In Dublin we packed a bag with all of his essentials including two iPads, gluten free snacks, and a change of clothes everywhere we went.  We visited places like the Irish emigration museum called EPIC and the Guiness Factory. The museums had a lot of video displays, lights, loud music and narration, and crowds. It was definitely too much for Calder. He squirmed and flopped a lot, so I cruised him through the museums. At the Guiness museum, there were several flights of escalators, and Calder loves escalators, so I made sure that we rode each one and looked over the side to see the floor below. I would also goof around with him, play boxing and hanging him upside down off my shoulder. And we took a lot of selfies together.

The next day at around 2:00 am, Cald projectile vomited. Everywhere. Constantly. Since he is nonverbal and cannot tell us he has to throw up, we listen for his liquidized coughs then prepare for a regurgitated concoction of curry and fries. We ran out of towels for Cald to throw up in, so we had to use old diapers. Two days later, when Calder was finally well enough to travel, we headed to Limerick to meet Jack. Unexpectedly, our dad randomly pulled over to the side of the freeway and, like Cald, projectile vomited. Because the Irish drive on the left side of the road (which Calder says is spooky but he also enjoyed), my dad had to pull over to the left side of the road, throw open his door, and vomit into oncoming traffic. Cald, my mom, and I all had a good laugh about that due to the randomness of it.

Despite the sickness and the delays, we got to see Jack and Calder was so happy, he actually verbalized “Jack Jack.” My parents got all excited, but I know I’m still the favorite brother.

The day before our flight Cald had a genius plan of spending 36 hours awake, pestering our dad at every opportunity. Following his all-nighter, our mom asked him why he stayed awake and he said, “We are too hyper because we had too much pooping great yummy soda.” So now soda, which was only ever a once-in-awhile treat for us, is officially banned. Thanks a lot, Cald.

So the hard part about traveling had nothing to do with autism. It had to do with an unexpected virus and the loss of soda privileges. The best part of traveling, was Cald. Even on the almost ten hour plane ride home, he always was smiling and laughing while a lot of people around us were tired or gloomy. And when I scroll through my camera roll, the best are the selfies and videos I took with Cald. Because he was so happy to travel, go on adventures, and drive on the opposite side of the road.